A topic sentence is the first sentence of a paragraph in the essay body. When you write a topic sentence, try to begin with a transitional phrase. Here are some examples that you can use at the beginning of your first topic sentence:
first of all, first and foremost, for starters, in the first place, for one thing, to begin with.
Here are some possible transitions for the second topic sentence:
second, second of all, more importantly, another key point is that…
Look at this sentence:
In fact, there are many things that stress people out, such as, work and school and cause emotional distress.
The problem is that the phrase such as is used incorrectly. Here are some rules for using it correctly:
1) Do not use a comma (,) after such as. For example, do not write: …such as, work and school… Correct is this: …such as work and school...
2) Try to place such as immediately following the noun or phrase it modifies. Incorrect: …many things that stress people out, such as work and school and cause... Correct is this: …many things, such as work and school, that stress people out and cause…
If we make the corrections above, this is what we get:
In fact, there are many things, such as work and school, that stress people out and cause emotional distress.
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Forbid vs. Prohibit / Ban
If something is forbidden, it is usually something that I have been told (often orally) that I cannot do. Example:
I can’t play outside for a week. My mother forbid me. ( = My mother told me that I am not allowed to play outside.)
If something is prohibited or banned, it is usually something that is illegal or against the law. Example:
New York City banned hand guns in the city center. ( = It is now against the law to have a hand gun in the city center.)
Consequently, we cannot say this:
My mother banned me to bring friends home to play.
Correct is as follows:
My mother forbid me to bring friends home to play.
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The most important function of the thesis statement is to answer the essay question. The thesis statement should always answer the question. Not answering the essay question is one of the biggest mistakes you can make.
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The phrase get to know refers to the long process of really learning about another person and actually knowing him or her well. Many times this process can take months or years. Example:
Sarah’s a hard person to get to know. I’ve been dating her for almost a year now and there’s still so much I don’t know about her!
Be careful not to confuse get to know and meet.
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Always use a comma (,) after a transitional phrase at the beginning of a sentence. For example, do not write:
First of all living in a dormitory is cheaper than living in a private apartment.
Correct is this:
First of all, living in a dormitory is cheaper than living in a private apartment.
This may seem like a small detail to you; nevertheless, it is a very important detail.
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Avoid making formal announcements about what you are going to write in your TOEFL essay. For example, do not write the following:
First of all, I am going to emphasize on the contribution of the government to colleges and universities.
Do not use phrases such as I am going to emphasize, I want to say, I would like to stress, what I am trying to say is. If you want to emphasize something, then emphasize it. If you want to say or stress something, then say it or stress it. Do not tell waste words by telling the reader what you would like to do or what you are going to do.
A possible revision for the sentences above:
First of all, both urban and rural communities benefit from government contributions to colleges and universities.
Here’s another example:
Secondly, I stress on poor people cannot afford education.
Correct is this:
Secondly, many poor people cannot afford education.
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