Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Avoid making announcements

Avoid making formal announcements about what you are going to write in your TOEFL essay. For example, do not write the following:

First of all, I am going to emphasize on the contribution of the government to colleges and universities.

Do not use phrases such as I am going to emphasize, I want to say, I would like to stress, what I am trying to say is. If you want to emphasize something, then emphasize it. If you want to say or stress something, then say it or stress it. Do not tell waste words by telling the reader what you would like to do or what you are going to do.
A possible revision for the sentences above:

First of all, both urban and rural communities benefit from government contributions to colleges and universities.

Here’s another example:

Secondly, I stress on poor people cannot afford education.

Correct is this:

Secondly, many poor people cannot afford education.

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