A lot of students ask me to rate their essays on the TOEFL scale. I am happy to do so, but I have to stress that I can’t guarantee that the score I give you will be the score you get on the TOEFL. While my scoring is based on a lot of experience, it is really just my “best guess” as to how you would do on the TOEFL. That said, on the TOEFL scale (0 to 5), I would put your last essay at about 2.0. In addition to the problems with the grammar, the essay body was not developed enough: there is not a second point to support your thesis--there was a paragraph that supported the direct opposite of your thesis instead. This made the essay development and writing sound illogical.
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