Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Two unclear sentences from a TOEFL essay

You wrote:

At the same time, the blank of career due to military service makes life difficult as companies need efficient people who have immediate impact.

I didn’t understand this sentence, unfortunately. Here is a suggestion:

At the same time, when military service interrupts a career, life becomes difficult for individuals as well as for companies.

You wrote:

military service can ruin their knowledge reqcuired through classes.

This is another sentence that I didn’t understand. Here is a suggestion:

There is a chance that while they are in the military, students will forget everything that they have learned in school.

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